Unconditional love of God

I am led to share my story with you. 13 years ago I came to Kwasizabantu mission a complete wreck. Nobody wanted me, nobody could help me, only God.

It all started innocently at school smoking, drinking and then dagga and mandrax. I am not going to elaborate on all the details but it eventually ruined my school career, my dreams, my marriage, my jobs and I lost my husband my home and my children. Not being able to deal with this I resorted to crack cocaine and eventually to support my habit I turned to prostitution. My family and people tried to help but because of my rebellious nature I eventually didn’t listen to anybody having an attitude of “you don’t tell me”.  I was in and out of rehabs learning” ‘life skills” and being on programs but always returning to the same environment and I could not be set free, but also realising at the time, that it was not what I needed, what I needed was God and to separate myself from my environment that I was in, as I was too weak. I needed to deal with bitterness, anger, jealousy, rejection and hurt. After 29 years of addiction, prostitution and landing on the streets for 2 years giving up on life I could not take it anymore and desperately cried out for help, and a man from Straatwerk remembered Kwasizabantu mission where a lady he knew had aids and got spiritual help there and became so healthy that she got work and continued to live a perfectly normal life by God’s grace.

When I got to the mission I was in a mess, but they took me in and gave me a bed to sleep on and 3 meals a day, the only thing I needed to do was to be willing to change and let God by His grace help me through.  The love I got from the people there was something that I had never experienced in my life, the unconditional love of God. The girls in my room served me and they just let me sleep which I did for 2 days waking up every now and again and hearing them talk. Eventually I had to get up as I wanted what they were talking about so I went for a long walk on the dirt road. There were no gates and fences so I was free, it was a wonderful feeling being sober.  I was filled with guilt and remorse of things I had done and things that happened in my life. I went to a counsellor after crying my heart out and told her my story and she patiently listened. At the end giving me Mathew 6:33 “Seek he first the kingdom of God” and praying for me.

My story is a long one so let me make it brief. I accepted God back into my heart and I started dealing with my sin and I was so thankful to feel free and normal again, so much so that I just wanted to help with anything possible during the day nobody had to ask me I offered it was the least I could do for the thankfulness I felt in my heart. Then after hearing the word daily and reading my bible and  cleaning my heart with a counsellor as it says you must do in James 5 God by His grace worked more and more and I became free of burdens I had carried for years. I also went back to people I had hurt and wronged and stolen from and asked forgiveness, even shops I stole out of, wherever I could, I did restitution because this was also a way of setting myself free that the enemy or anybody could no longer point fingers at me.

I thank God for this family in Christ that walked a road with me because for me that was so deep and hard from sin it was a process, a process of learning and I needed the guidance and patience of a Godly family and tranquil environment feeling no fear of people and a love that I never ever knew.

I felt after praying with a councillor that I was called to this work to help others that came out of the same life that I did. I got a second chance on the mission to live a wonderful Christian life being a servant to others who are broken and given up on life, and need Gods love. Nobody except my family at kwasizabantu ever did this for me, and I have a perfectly normal healthy life in the Lord where everybody gave up on me Kwasizabantu never. What they did was take me in with unconditional loves asking few questions but trusting God for a work in my life, giving me 3 meals a day a roof over my head help for my soul and concern over my well being. We have only done good reaching out and warning others about the dangers in life in making  wrong choices and how God by His grace can help  us to live a wonderful life full of joy and peace helping others that are less fortunate and do not know the way. I am far from perfect as I have my challenges each and every day but I keep my eyes on the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and continuously walk in the light confessing my sins because anyone who says he has no sin is a liar.

I thank God.
Gail Pryor

Gail Pryor